There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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