I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I pour the whiskey from now on
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
