a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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