There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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