Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
