Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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