You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
