Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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