I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize