but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
pray to the hookup gods
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
