it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
