I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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