Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
