We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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