WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He uses pillows to masturbate.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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