absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
