I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?