It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
