Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.