you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
