i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
