Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
