he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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