Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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