I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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