we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
