He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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