you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize