some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
