butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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