I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize