Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
