i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
