So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
