"it" just moved
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize