her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
