Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
