She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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