so that wasnt chicken after all
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
