if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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