so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
