standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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