Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
