so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
