Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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