A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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