I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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