in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
