you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
