I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
