last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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