I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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