Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
