i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
