My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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