Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
