the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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