so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Someone shattered a urinal.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
