You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
