When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
