Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
