So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
