the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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