why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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