Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
