My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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