he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
