Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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